POLICE FILES: Petah the Polish Elf vs. Kim Kardashian (Or how I got my Les Jeans De Chanel)

Last night, I went to bed wishing I was in New York so I can join the madness that is Fashion Night Out.

But then I woke up to an e-mail from Petah – an e-mail so awesome it will go down as one of the best e-mails ever sent in Polish Police history.

You remember Petah? Yes, Polish Police’s New York correspondent. Yes, Petah, my super sweet polish elf.

While I was zzzing, Petah was hard at work on the other side of the world, doing everything he could to get his hands on the bottles of Les Jeans De Chanel that I have been coveting.

But I shouldn’t be telling you this.

Petah should be telling you his story.

Here we go:

Hi Pammy,

Nobody warned me about this phenomenon – Fashion Night Out was CWAZY!!! The day before FNO, I went to the Chanel store in SoHo (since I was in the neighborhood). They were busy putting up the banners for their new polish. There I was, looking like a delivery boy, sweaty but eager to get my hands on the products. I waited for 10 mins til someone attended to me. The sales guy (unlike in the house of Dior) was courteous enough to ask me to return the next day since they weren’t doing any pre-selling. 

So Thursday arrived and after getting out of the train, chaos greeted me. It was like shopping in Divisoria in sequins and high heels! Everybody was toting goodie bags and on every street were queues of people trying to score goods from their favorite designer. And lo and behold, Spring Street was blocked by police cars and limousines and thousands of fans screaming for the friggin’ Kardashians! Your babies were blocked by them big asses.

Determined, I went around a couple of blocks and were greeted by Chanel bouncers! I wondered why polishes needed that much security… They almost didn’t let me in since I was not pretty enough but after convincing them that I have money to spend, they let me through. Chaos continued inside the boutique. I never would have imagined being surrounded by 10,000 Pams but everybody in the store was gagging for them cutex! Good thing the sales guy remembered me and I got out of there without breaking a sweat.

There were at least 100 people wrapped around Chanel’s block after I left. I felt proud and mighty thinking how happy Pammy would be; and Kim can kiss my behind!

Enjoy your new babies.

your polish elf,
: – Petah

And Petah didn’t just send me this awesome e-mail, he also sent me photos of his Chanel adventure.

Thanks to him, it feels like I was there.

And thanks to Petah, I don’t have to go nuts trying to figure out where I’ll get this collection which I’m sure will disappear super fast.

Oh god. Chanel love.

Even Jill is excited about these and that’s saying a lot because she’s never excited about polish.

Blue Rebel, Blue Boy, Coco Blue.

I cannot wait to swatch these babies.

And I will, soon.

In the meantime, check out these beautiful swatches from The Beauty Look Book and Front Row Beauty.

Thank you so much Petah! You are the best polish elf in the world. I will give you a big big hug and a lot of love when I see you.

If you’ve been dying to get your hands on these shades too but don’t know where, here’s a quick guide:

Bottles are already up on Ebay as early as now but please don’t give in to exorbitant Evilbay prices. You don’t have to pay more than retail – especially not if the products are still readily available in stores.

USA: You can find this collection on the Chanel website and at Chanel boutiques in California (Beverly Hills, Robertson, South Coast Plaza), Florida (Bal Harbour, Orlando, Palm Beach Gardens, Palm Beach Worth Avenue), Hawaii (Ala Moana, Waikiki), Chicago, Boston, New York (57th Street, Madison Avenue, SoHo), Texas (Dallas, Houston) and Virginia and select Neiman Marcus stores.

SYDNEY: You can find Les Jeans De Chanel in Myer.

SINGAPORE: The collection will be launched at the Chanel boutique in Marina Bay Sands on September 19. It will also become available at the Chanel Makeup Studio at ION Orchard starting September 23.

HONG KONG: The collection is out in Hong Kong now.