Step right up, step right up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and be astounded by the world of madness you are about to witness! Drop the ice cream, forget the cotton candy and bring out your cameras – you are about to see a real freak up close!
And here she is… the Ebay Loser!
Unlike Jill, I am not great at Ebay.
Jill is excellent at Ebay. I don’t know how, I don’t know what training she’s had, I don’t know how close she is to the Ebay gods – but it’s like she has a PhD in Ebay. No, scratch that, it’s like she was born with the bidding gene.
As for me? It’s like I have a PhD in losing Ebay bids. No, scratch that, it’s like I was born with the “constantly be outbid” gene.
Jill has all these tricks and tactics to win bids. She takes note of the time her Ebay bids will end. She sets her alarm at 4 or 5 a.m. and actually gets up and logs on to Ebay to make sure she wins. She is a skilled Ebay sniper. She actually enjoys those last few seconds of a bid. Oh, the adrenaline rush. She is the MacGyver of Ebay.
Meanwhile, I am the Homer Simpson of Ebay.
I place my max bid and pat myself on the back for picking such a good number. And then I realize that I’ve been outbid and it’s too late because the bidding has ended. And then I feel like such an oaf and I start kicking myself.
It’s not a very pretty cycle.
In less than sixty days, I have lost eleven bids.
Eleven bids. In less than sixty days. That’s roughly one bid lost every five days.
And the saddest part is that most of the time, I lose by just a dollar.
One. Freaking. Dollar.
I lost a bid for three bottles of Butter London – Jaffa, Twee and Chuffed.
I lost a bid for MAC On The Prowl. I love this polish so much and it wears like freaking iron on me so I wanted another bottle.
But no, I lost that too.
I also lost this bid for MAC Something About Pink which is a shame because I’ve been wanting to complete my Hello Kitty MAC polish collection.
And I also lost this bid for four brand new MAC polishes – Coconut Ice, Asiatique, Imperial Splendour, Blissed Out.
Four bottles of polish for a fraction of the price. Argh.
Then there was the bottle of MAC Blue India. Yes, I know I already have one bottle and a backup but I love this polish so much – it’s number one on my list – and I can’t imagine what it would be like to run out of it. So yes, I was trying to win one more bottle. Sue me.
But actually wait, no, don’t sue me, because I lost that bid too.
I also lost the bid for Chanel Orange Blossom. Which wasn’t so bad because it was only after I bid that I realized it was only 80% full.
But I bid on Chanel L.A. Sunset and that was bad because I really wanted this bottle. Ever since I saw it on Miss Bun, I’ve been lemming it really bad.
I gave MAC On The Prowl one more shot – this time with MAC Vestral White – but I lost that bid too.
And then.. I spotted two bids happening at the same time. Chanel London Bus Red and Chanel Sensuelle – two colors Miss Bun has been lemming. And I thought I was going to win for sure. The bids were ending really soon and I thought my max bids were high enough that even if someone tried to swoop in at the last minute, I would still win.
I was wrong.
Sigh.
And that ends this freak show. Eleven lost bids in sixty days.
My wallet’s happy but I’m not.
